Fractured Families

Relationships are unraveling in the face of ideological clashes, particularly when it comes to discussions surrounding the Israel-Gaza conflict. The divisive nature of politics and differing worldviews has permeated family dynamics, causing fractures between parents and children. Amidst this turmoil, the Torah provides insights into the complexities of failing relationships and the possibility of their restoration.

In a famine, Jacob dispatched his sons to Egypt to purchase food. Little did they know that they would encounter the Vizier, their long-lost brother Joseph, whom they sold into slavery. Twenty years later, the brothers failed to recognize their brother. The narrative unfolds: “Joseph saw his brothers, he recognized them, but he acted like a stranger toward them and spoke harshly to them.”

Similarly, in today’s context, family and friends are becoming strangers to one another, distancing themselves despite deep-rooted connections. The desire to obscure our faces and retreat from those we once held close to is triggered by far less treacherous circumstances than being sold into slavery.

To reunite, Joseph and his brothers required three crucial elements: opportunity, willingness, and reflection. These components are indispensable for repairing friendships and healing families. In the current socio-political landscape, where individuals grapple with conflicting perspectives on the Israel-Gaza conflict, the choice to cling to anger and disappointments is often fueled by deeply ingrained beliefs. When fundamental convictions are contested, relationships may fracture, and reconciliation becomes possible only through face-to-face encounters, a commitment to affirming the relationship over conflicting beliefs, and the passage of time for reflective healing.

Not all relationships may be salvageable, and distance can sometimes be acceptable. Joseph, too, could have clung to the betrayal by his brothers, choosing self-preservation over reconciliation. The Torah, however, holds out hope that even the most egregious relationships can be repaired. Yet, it acknowledges the hesitancy to reconcile, deeming it both understandable and, at times, necessary. Joseph’s decision to reunite with his brothers is just one potential ending to this story, illustrating that the path to healing is nuanced and multifaceted.

Rabbi Evan Krame