Your Kids Will Hate This Blog Post

We are experiencing a breakdown in society. The divisions between intimates, whether friends or family, are pronounced in our times. We just don’t trust each other enough. People can’t relate to one another unless there is an element of trust.

As we read of the end of Jacob’s life in the Torah, we learn about trust. Jacob asks his son Joseph to swear an oath that Jacob will be buried in Canaan and not in Egypt. Joseph places his hand under Jacob’s thigh and swears the oath. Satisfied, Jacob turns toward the head of his bed, where the Rabbis opine that the Divine Presence is watching over Jacob. You can read this as if God is the guarantor of a person’s oath.

Few have an awe or fear of God sufficient to be bound by their words. Moreover, we no longer live in a time when a person’s word is their bond. People lack faith that others will place their promises above their personal desires.

Just as my Judaism is rooted in the faith of my ancestors, I believe that enduring oaths bind generations. Among those promises are to honor God and live a life infused by the Torah. In an “enlightened” world, that pledge has given way to pragmatism, relativism, materialism, humanism, and secularism. These modern concepts, while enticing, also tear at the fabric of a society based on trust, faith, and commonalities.

Even within families, relationships are rupturing because our faith in each other is lacking. Not too long ago, children obeyed a parent’s instruction. Just as Joseph obeyed Jacob, children did what their parents asked. In American society, such obeisance is a relic or relegated to the deeply observant religious communities. If we don’t practice honoring parents, how can we expect to transcend our differences in other relationships?

Building trust is not a one-way street. Trust requires listening to one another with honesty and candor. A demonstration of trust will require we sometimes set aside our desires to honor others we value.

Without a practice of subsuming our ego to time-tested values, we engender cynicism.  Cynicism, distrust, and egotism are rotting society from the roots of families to the branches of communities.

There was a time when a person was as good as their word. Now, parents cannot maintain faith that relationships will stand the test of the differences we express. We cannot take family loyalty for granted, as Jacob did Joseph.

Grandparents, parents, and children must speak about how we sustain families and build a civil society by pledging faithfulness to one another. With our continued promise to maintain relationships, we must cultivate trust as dearly as we would the essential nourishment that sustains life.

Rabbi Evan Krame